A few years ago, I heard a statistic that shocked me. It opened up a considerable amount of questioning tabs in my head that I don’t really have answers for. More on the statistic in a moment…
When I was a little girl, one of my favorite films to watch was the 1985 adaptation of the George Elliot novel, Silas Marner. Ben Kingsley played the part of a miser, shunned from society after being wrongly accused of theft. He lives away from the townsfolk, weaving cloth to sell and hoarding his money. The theft of his carefully saved treasure nearly finishes the man…until a little girl of two or three wanders into his home one bitterly cold night, her opium-addicted mother dead of exposure in the snow several yards away. Marner takes the girl into his heart, raises her as his own daughter, and in the process, is transformed into a new man, full of kindness, generosity and forgiveness. It’s a beautiful story.
And I have thought of it often. The conclusion to these remembrances are usually a wry shake of my head and a thought like, “Boy, that would never fly today. She’d get whisked away into foster care first thing and Silas Marner would go back to counting his stacks of money.”
And most of us, myself included, would say that on the whole, that is a good thing. After all, if the government let any old person take in stray children, untold numbers of children would end up in the hands of wicked people, suffering fates we can all picture pretty well.
But then…there was that unpleasant fact I discovered a couple years ago. I will include this fact at the end of this piece.
For now, what follows is something like a modern retelling of the Silas Marner story I wrote this week. This is how I think the events would transpire today. It will likely make you sad. I’m sorry for that. But I hope it will also make you think.
Midget
He was about to leave for work that day when he found her. He had his toothbrush in his mouth when he walked to the door of his ground level apartment and yelled into the fenced yard for the dogs to come in and load up. But there was no response.
He sighed, set the toothbrush down so he could free his mouth to yell better and popped his head out the door.
“Zeus! Athena! Get your butts in here! We gotta go to work.”
Not a sound. Not even a bark. Perplexed, Randy hopped over to the couch on one leg and strapped on his prosthetic. He shoved his feet into his shoes quite handily considering there was no feeling in his left foot to guide him, and walked out the back to look for the dogs. The yard was not large. He was lucky to have any, so he didn’t mind. Besides, the dogs got plenty of exercise in at work.
He was about to check out front in case they’d jumped the fence when he heard Zeus whining behind him, and that’s when he turned around and saw her. Such a little mite. Her eyes were big and wide as she stared up at him, one arm clutched around Zeus’ neck and closed in a tight circle ending with a thumb in her mouth. Zeus didn’t seem to mind one bit. Athena was snuggled up next to the girl on the other side, her head resting on the little one’s right shoulder.
“Oh,” Randy said, stumped. “Where did you come from?”
She didn’t respond, just stared.
“What’s your name?” he asked, walking closer.
She pushed up against the wall of the apartment as he approached.
“Oh, it’s okay,” he said, holding out his hands. “It’s alright. You’re not in trouble. What’s your name?”
She never broke her wide eyed stare, but she didn’t speak.
He knelt down to her level.
“My name’s Randy,” he said, glancing at his watch. “Boy, I’m going to be late. Can you tell me what your name is?”
Silence.
“Where do you live?”
Silence.
“How did you get in here?”
More silence. Randy sighed. She finally pulled her thumb out of her mouth and pointed to where the fence met the wall. There was a pile of boxes next to the trash can.
“Oh, is that where you climbed over the fence?"
She nodded.
“So you can understand me. That’s good.”
Randy sighed and scratched his head.
“We gotta get you back home, but I don’t know where you live. Do you know where you live?”
She shrugged and shook her head.
“Hmmm.”
Randy stood to his feet and pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket.
“I got a friend in the police department and I’m going to call him now. He’ll know how to help.”
After hanging up, Randy dialed work to call out.
“Yeah, yeah, I know!” he explained. “I’m sorry, but I got a lost little kid in my yard and I can’t just leave her here. I have to wait until the police arrive. Just hold on to your shirt. You’ll do fine. I’ll be in this afternoon.”
Randy pocketed his phone and blew a raspberry. He looked down at the little girl. She hadn’t moved a muscle.
"My friend will be here soon,” he explained.
She stared back at him.
“You hungry?” he asked.
Her eyes brightened.
“Yeah? You want some food?”
She nodded.
“Come on inside then,” he said, holding out his hand to her.
She almost reached for it, then hesitated.
“Come on, now. I’m not going to bite you.”
She grabbed his thumb with her little hand—it was about all she could wrap her fingers around for he had very big hands—and followed him inside, Zeus and Athena bringing up the rear.
She gobbled up three bowls of cheerios in succession. Randy sat across the table in amazement.
“Wow. When’s the last time you had something to eat?” he asked after she emerged from the third bowl. “I’m going to call you Midget for now.”
She pushed the bowl towards him again, hopefully. He chuckled and filled it up. A knock sounded on the door and Randy jumped up to answer it.
“This is my friend, Jackson,” he told her, leading his buddy through the door. “Jackson, this is…well, I don’t know who this is. She won’t say a word.”
Jackson knelt down and tried to talk with her, “Hi, there? What’s your name?”
She just kept shoveling cereal in her mouth with one hand while her other arm wrapped around Athena for support. Jackson shook his head.
“We’re going to have to take her in to CPS,” he said, standing up. “We’ll run her photo down at the station and see if we can figure out who she is.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Hey, you want to come with me?” Jackson asked her. “You can ride in my cool car and we’ll find you a better place to stay than this old dump.”
“Hey!”
Jackson reached for her and she froze in terror. Athena growled a little in warning.
“Why don’t you let me and the dogs come along?” Randy asked. “The dogs put her at ease and she seems okay with me. The dogs already have their vests on and all.”
A few minute later, they sat in the waiting room at CPS, all in a row. Randy looking like the Incredible Hulk without the green color, Midget holding tight to his thumb, then Athena and Zeus. Jackson had gone back to the station. It was busy there and no one had time to process Midget yet, so they waited. Finally, a harried woman walked out of her office to collect them.
“Come in and sit down,” she said, moving a pile of files off a chair eyeing the dogs. “They really shouldn’t be in here.”
“Oh, it’s alright,” Randy assured her. “They’re certified search-and-rescue dogs. They visit old folks in homes and kids in the hospital and stuff. They can go anywhere.”
“I see, very impressive,” she said and then turned her attention to Midget. “Hi, honey. I’m Susan. Can you tell me your name?”
Silence.
“She doesn’t talk,” Randy shook his head.
“Clearly,” Susan said, sinking into her chair with a sigh. “I still haven’t heard anything from police yet, but I have got to find somewhere to place her for the night. I am slightly overwhelmed with cases at the moment. It’s been a long day and it’s only 10:00.”
The furrows stood out on her forehead as she typed frantically into her computer.
“Is there a problem finding a place?” Randy asked. “Are there not enough places?”
“There are most definitely not enough places,” she sighed again.
Randy looked from Midget to Susan and back. His own brow furrowed.
“I guess she could…” he began slowly but was cut off by the phone on the desk ringing.
“Susan Ward speaking,” she clipped, typing still.
Randy couldn’t help but strain his ears to listen. He caught snippets from the voice on the other end.
“…drug overdose…mother’s dead…were reunified three months ago...father’s in prison for life…”
Susan nodded, thanked the officer and hung up. She sighed a third time.
“Her name is Crystal Reed and she has no one now. Her mother died last night in ER of a drug overdose. A good Samaritan called an ambulance when they found her on the street. She was from the next county over, so no one knew there was even a little girl to look for….How on earth did she find her way to you?”
Randy shook his head.
“I have to make some calls and see if we can find a place for tonight at least.”
“She could stay with me,” Randy blurted out.
Susan paused, looking hopeful.
“I mean until you find something better.”
“Really? You’re a foster parent? You’re licensed?” she asked in a rush. “Because that would be an absolute life saver right now.”
“Oh, well no,” Randy shook his head. “Not really. I just…you know…she can have my bed. I got the couch.”
Susan’s face fell.
“She can even come to work with me. I train search-and-rescue dogs, you know. She’d have a blast.”
“Oh, no,” Susan shook her head. “No we couldn’t do that. You’d have to go through the process to become a foster parent.”
“What would I have to do?”
“Fill out paperwork, get a background check, get a home study…it would take several months at least,” she said, her smile incredulous.
“Sure, sure,” Randy said shaking his head and laughing at himself. “I get that. What was I thinking? For all you know, I could be an axe murderer.”
“Right,” she smiled and returned to her typing.
A few minutes later, she looked up abruptly.
“You can go now. I’ll take it from here,” she smiled at him. “Thanks for doing what you did.”
“Right!”
Randy stood up and motioned to the dogs. They left Midget’s side and came to heel. Midget’s eyes welled up with tears. Randy looked away.
“Um, could I get some info on becoming a foster parent?”
Susan looked up in surprise. She turned and rummaged in a filing cabinet then shoved a stack of forms into his hand.
“That should get you started.”
“And could I visit Midget where she’s staying? She loves these dogs and all.”
“Yes, once there’s a place for her.”
“How do I find out?”
“Just call me tomorrow,” Susan said, a hint of frustration creeping into her voice.
“Do you, uh, do you have a card?” Randy asked.
“Here,” she said, jabbing one in his direction.
Randy knelt down in front of Midget. Tears ran down her face but she didn’t make a sound.
“Don’t you worry,” he said, patting her tiny little hand. “Everything’s going to be okay, and me and Athena and Zeus will come see you when you’re all settled. Okay?”
He got up, turned, and walked out, shoving a fist into his eyes, the dogs following reluctantly behind him.
It was the end of May.
June
“Hey, ma!”
“Hi, hon!”
Randy sat at his table with the stack of papers from Susan in front of him. His mother beamed at him from across the miles from her perch on his laptop screen.
“How’s that poor little girl?” she asked.
“I don’t know yet,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with her caseworker for a few days now, but she’s pretty busy. I’m sure she’s okay, though. Right?”
“I’m sure she is,” Mom soothed. “What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m not sure,” Randy said, eyeing the stack of papers. “Something crazy, maybe. Think I’d make an okay foster parent?”
“I know you’d make a wonderful dad,” she assured him. “I keep hoping you’ll get out there and find someone. There’s still plenty of time for you, you know. For a wife and family.”
“I don’t know, ma,” Randy said shaking his head. “After Casey left, I just…I really loved her. And besides, dating. Man…it’s a jungle.”
“Are you asking me if I think you should become a foster parent?”
“Yeah.”
“I think you’re a good man who loves the Lord, and I think if you believe this is something you should do, then you should do it.”
“Thanks, ma,” he whispered.
“I think it’s wonderful that you care for this little girl so much. I’m really proud of you and if your dad were still alive, he’d say the same thing.”
July
By the end of June, Randy had finally gotten word from Susan about Midget’s placement. Nobody at the foster home would return his calls. But the process of becoming a foster parent kept him busy about many chores and between that and work, he wouldn’t have had the time anyway.
He passed the background check, alright. He knew that wouldn’t be a problem. But the lady who interviewed him, took one look at his missing leg and another at his military record and her enthusiasm blanched.
“So, tell me about your leg,” she began. “Are you able to live independently and care for a child with this disability?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “I work forty hours a week, no problem. It’s been ten years since it got blown off in Afghanistan, so I’ve had a lot of time to get used to it.”
“Do you have any episodes?"
“Huh?”
“PTSD.”
“Oh. Well, you know, your leg gets blown off and you do think about it sometimes. I do get nightmares sometimes. But I’m really not bad off, not like some of my buddies, you know. I’m lucky, I guess.”
“No blackouts? No time you can’t account for during your day?”
“Naw.”
“And your divorce. Want to fill me in on that? Was it amicable?”
“Well, Casey left after I was deployed the first time. I guess she felt like she didn’t sign up for the army wife life. It was a whirlwind romance, you know. We got married in a hurry before I had to leave. Probably wasn’t a great decision on my part, but I did love her. I do love her.”
“And that’s why you still wear your ring?”
“Yeah. That and, with a physique like mine, you know, you gotta throw the ladies off your trail somehow…” he laughed and winked.
But she didn’t.
“Well, I see that you’re not behind on alimony,” she remarked. “So that speaks in your favor. That and your stability, your work.”
“Oh, yeah. No trouble there.”
Randy sighed with relief at the conclusion of that interview. The home study didn’t go much better. His apartment didn’t meet the square footage requirement for both him and another person.
“How much space does it take?” Randy asked, laughing. “You seen her? She’s teaspoon sized.”
To which, the lady responded with the required square footage and didn’t even crack a smile. So, he began looking for a bigger apartment that allowed dogs and kids.
August
“Hi, I’m here to see Midge…er, um Crystal.”
He stood at the door of the foster home with Athena and Zeus on either side. The lady of the house regarded him with a blank stare.
“I called,” he explained. “I think I talked to you? I’m the one that found her over on 22nd street.”
“Oh, right,” she said. “Come in. Those dogs are house trained, right?”
“Yeah, they’re trained in everything you can think of.”
She nodded and ushered them in to a large chaotic den. A couple of kids were fighting in one corner, a few played with blocks in another, a few more were watching TV, and a couple more ran over straight away to pet the dogs. Randy’s eyes searched the room eagerly. He felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down into Midget’s smiling eyes.
“Hey, you! How ya been?” he said, kneeling down and wrapping her in a bear hug.
He set her down and examined her, a little worry creeping in at what he saw. There were circles under her eyes.
“Don’t they feed you anything?” he asked. “You’re skinnier than when I found you.”
“She gets three square a day here and snacks,” the woman cut in. “But I can’t force her to eat.”
“You gotta eat, Midget,” he said. “How else are you going to get big and strong?”
She smiled up at him.
“Still not talking, huh?”
She took his hand, dragged him over to a couch and pushed some picture books that had seen better days in his hands. She crawled up on the couch and motioned to the dogs to join her. They hopped up without delay.
“I guess we’re reading today, huh? Okay. Here we go.”
They spent an hour together, looking through books, petting the dogs, putting the dogs through their repertoire of tricks. Then Randy demonstrated the wonders of his prosthetic leg by taking it off, putting it back on and taking it off again. He pretended to accidentally bonk himself in the head with it which was a hit with the whole room. He was going for an encore when the lady appeared and informed him that visiting hours had concluded.
“Bye, darlin,’” he said, hugging her close. “You be a good girl. I’m going to come see you again soon. I promise.”
She followed him all the way to the door and when it was shut between them, she went to the window and watched him leave.
September
By some miracle, he found an apartment that met all the criteria which was also within his budget. A bunch of the guys from work came over and helped him move.
“Hey, Susan?” he panted, his cell phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder while he heaved a stack of boxes up three flights of stairs. “Yeah, I know you're swamped. I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I’m moving into a great apartment right now and I want to get going on that home study right away. Oh, okay. Thanks. I’ll put it on the calendar.”
He set the boxes down with a clatter, wincing then dialed his phone again.
“Hi, there! I wondered if I could come by to visit Midget…er Crystal sometime tomorrow.”
He paused.
“Oh, really? How bad…fever? How about Saturday?”
He ripped open a box and began sorting through stuff.
“Well, yeah of course. No telling how long this could last, I guess. Well, could you give me a ring when she’s doing better and up to a visit? Thanks.”
He sighed and looked around his new pad. He walked down the hall and into a bedroom on the right. A brand new bed frame, white with pink flowers, rested in its box against the wall. He smiled and got to work.
“Here, ma, let me flip the screen around so you can see the room,” he said later that night when his mother Facetimed him. “Lookie there. Not bad for an old bachelor, huh?”
“Oh, that’s lovely, honey,” his mom gushed. “She’s going to love it.”
“I know I probably shouldn’t have spent all this money on this stuff. There’s no guarantee she’ll even get placed with me after all. You know she’s up for adoption?”
“Yes, you mentioned that.”
“I mean, it would be better if she had a mom and a dad, both.”
“Well, you never know how things will shake out.”
“Yeah, you never know. Wait and see.”
October
“She’s still sick?!”
Zeus looked up from his napping and cocked his head at Randy.
“Oh, tonsillitis this time? Will you call me when I can come see her next?”
Randy hung up and stared at the floor.
“Something’s not right,” he muttered.
He gave it a couple more weeks, but the woman never called. So, he loaded up the dogs on his next free day and showed up at her door unannounced. She visibly paled at the sight of him.
“I’d like to see Crystal,” he announced with a friendly smile.
“Well, she’s not available,” the woman responded.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her hand tremble along with her efforts to conceal it.
“What do you mean? Is she sick again?”
“Yes. No, she just doesn’t want to see you.”
“She can’t talk,” he said, his smile disappearing. “How exactly did she tell you this?”
“She has her own ways of communicating.”
“I’d like you to step aside and let me see her,” he said.
“You need to leave now,” she replied and quickly shut the door.
Randy stood on the step, his eyes darting back and forth. He pulled out his phone and dialed Susan.
“You’ve reached Susan Ward. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call in two business days.”
“Athena, Zeus. Get in the car.”
He drove much too fast to CPS and screeched to a halt in the parking lot. He marched inside all the way down the hall to Susan’s office. She was sitting at her desk, typing frantically as usual. He didn’t bother knocking and barged through the door.
“Randy!”
“Something’s wrong at that foster home,” he said, leaning over her desk. “I haven’t laid eyes on Midget since August. The lady keeps telling me she’s sick with this or that. Today, she says Midget doesn’t want to see me. You got to get over there and lay eyes on her and make sure she’s okay.”
“Can we calm down a little bit?” Susan asked, wide eyed.
“No! We can’t.”
“Okay. You’ve told me your concerns. I will look into this.”
“When? In two business days?”
“Oh, come on…”
“Please listen to me, Susan,” he begged. “I’m not trying to be a jerk to you. I know something is wrong. Please go there today. I know you’re busy. I know there are a million other kids, but please listen to me. I don’t know what else to say. I’ve got a lot of instincts from combat and something is up over there.”
Her eyes softened and she nodded.
“Okay. I will go tonight.”
“Will you call me and let me know what you find out?”
“I will call you. I promise.”
Randy paced the floor of his apartment until 22:00 that night. At 22:02, Susan rang.
“Is she okay?!” he blurted.
There was silence on the other end of the line.
“You’re scaring me, Susan…”
“Your fears,” she finally began, “were not unfounded.”
“Where is she?”
“We don’t know.”
Randy faltered and slumped down to the floor.
“I went there and didn’t find her. Police searched the entire house and neighborhood without success. The foster parents finally admitted that she had gone missing in August, the day after you visited her. They failed to report it. They are in custody, and the other children have been removed from the home.”
“Well, we have to find her,” Randy stammered out.
“The police are investigating, of course, but due to the fact that she disappeared in August and it’s now October, the leads are slim.”
“What’s going to happen?”
“The police will keep the case open as long as they can. There’s just…nothing to go on.”
“How? How did they lose her?”
“They claim they were so busy with the other children the night she disappeared that they didn’t realize she had left the house until the next morning.”
Randy stifled a sob.
“I wouldn’t have lost her. Even though my apartment was too small. We wouldn’t have lost her, the dogs and…” he couldn’t finish.
“I know,” Susan’s voice was husky. “But I have to do my job the way it’s required of me. I’m so sorry, Randy.”
November
“We’re not going to give up praying for her return,” Mom said.
“No, I won’t,” Randy nodded, attempting a smile.
It was raining outside and a clump of wet leaves stuck to his window.
“I’m going go now, Ma,” he said. “Got some errands to run and stuff.”
“Alright, hon.”
Randy loaded up the dogs in his truck and drove to the grocery store. He picked up some steaks, a couple cans of beans, and some dog food. He hurried past the cereal aisle and checked out.
Through the pouring rain and the annoying screech of the windshield wipers, he hunched over the steering wheel. Out the corner of his eye, he saw a homeless guy trying to stay dry in a doorway. Randy drove on. About a mile from home, he did an abrupt u-turn and drove back towards the guy. He slowed to a stop beside the doorway and rolled down the window. Zeus and Athena jammed their heads through the window and got in the way.
“Get out of there,” he ordered and then yelled out the window, “Hey! You on drugs?”
“What?" the man asked, leaning forward.
“You on drugs?”
“No, I’m clean.”
“Need a place to stay tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Hop in. I got an extra bed.”
“Those dogs bite?” the man asked warily.
“No, not unless you’re a bad man.”
The guy chuckled and came forward. They drove home in silence. Randy ushered the man inside and showed him to the extra bedroom. The extra, very pink, bedroom.
“Wow,” the guy said.
“Yeah, I was going to foster this littler girl,” Randy explained, “but it didn’t work out. Anyway, you can sleep here. Shower’s down the hall. I got steak. You like steak?”
The man nodded.
“Good. Maybe we can find you a job tomorrow.”
They sat across from each other, eating steak and beans in silence, the dogs standing sentinel beside them. It was a scene repeated over and over in the coming years. It never quite removed the haunting vision of Midget’s big brown eyes from his mind, but it helped. It helped him to help the bedraggled guys he pulled off the street night after night.
And no one made him fill out paperwork before he did it. So, there was that.
Over ten percent of all children who go missing in foster care (which is a massive number all by itself) are never reported missing. I’m not making that up. You can read about this in the following links:
Police Sometimes Ignore Kids Missing From Foster Care
The Number of Missing Children in Foster Care
States Lose Track of Thousands…
There is a common fallacy I think every new generation falls prey to, which is that “everything is currently better than it has ever been before.” Akin to that, “when the government is involved, things are more safe, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
My reflexive belief that the Silas Marner scenario is better left well in the past was due to the obvious reason that without government oversight, children would clearly and inevitably fall into the hands of unscrupulous people who would abuse them.
But now I see that under government oversight, children are still clearly and inevitably falling into the hands of unscrupulous people who abuse them.
I don’t have any solution to this problem other than speaking the Gospel so the hearts of parents can be transformed by Christ so that they love their children more than their vices. Reformers have been trying to reform this very system devised to protect children for decades with limited success. But perhaps you will all join with me in prayer that the nameless, faceless thousands of Midgets who go missing every year will be kept safe and returned, as futile as such an activity feels at times.
That’s all for now. Until next time, folks…
P.S. If you enjoy reading the things I write, please consider upgrading your subscription from free to paid. This would help me immensely, as I continue to seek publication for my two novels. Thanks, everybody! See you next week.
Heartbreaking to think about children being used, abused and gone missing. An amazing and well written story. Thank you so much for sharing.
Don't check my theology on this! There is a special place in heaven for foster parents. Like the Dobsons. Like my departed sister, who never cared a stitch for Jesus, but poured her life into foster kids, most of whom were the ones nobody else wanted. You struck a tender nerve, Amanda.