Profiles of Profanity
People get really mad when you don't like obscenity.
In early December, I made a short post on the Substack app of about four sentences. I closed my computer and went about my day. Little did I know that it would amass 3,000 (and counting) likes, several hundred comments, and shares. Here’s the post:
Many things surprised me about this whole experience. First of all, I’m not the sort of person who goes viral on the regular. In fact, it’s only happened one other time.
Second, I was astonished by how much support I received and how many people identified with my weariness over being forced to see and hear this ugly word a dozen times a day, at least.
And yes, forced is the proper word. When you can’t opt out of hearing or seeing it other than opting out of normal human life, I’d say things have come to a pretty pass. Even opting out of normal human life and staying inside four walls can’t do the job when your neighbors are screaming obscenities at all hours of the day and night, as one writer reported just this week. You can read her piece about profanity below.
Third, I was unimpressed but simultaneously surprised by some of the juvenile responses to what I had to say. It would seem that some of the rats from various social media sinking ships have also found their way to my lovely Substack and have decided to behave themselves like 12-year-old boys at the local middle school.
They thought it would be great to take time out of their days to click “comment” and type the words, “F—ck you” because that’s such a great use of one’s time, something they’ll no doubt look back upon in satisfaction on their death beds. “At least I didn’t pass up a chance to insult a perfect stranger that one day in December of ‘24”
Anyway, I just immediately deleted and blocked those. Jesus and trolls are everywhere, and there is no other way to handle a troll than by disengaging and blocking. So, I’m not sure what they thought they were accomplishing by this.
Still, there were only a handful of those comments compared to hundreds in support.
I only deleted those who chose to use the word, and left other comments expressing disagreement up, whether they were obnoxious or not.
I cannot express to you how much entertainment was had the whole of the month of December. I’ve had so many laughs, a fair amount of heartwarming moments, and everything else, in between.
Just for fun, I started classifying certain kinds of comments in my head with little titles: The Amateur Psychoanalyst, The Mean Girl, The Crusty Old Gentleman, The Pompous Mule, The “But Akchtually People With Potty Mouths are the Smartest.” etc.
Hence the title of today’s epistle. I will share some of these profiles with you in just a moment. But first, a little background behind the note that kicked this whole thing off.
The fact is, I am tired of hearing and seeing that word in every forum and spoken for every conceivable reason. I hear it when I’m out and about running errands, it’s invaded every social media website and forum, it’s spewed out of every popular podcaster’s mouth…and it didn’t used to be this way. For whatever reason, I can’t get through a single day without seeing it or hearing it once. Ha. Once. More like half a dozen times or more.
And because people, including many Christians, are spending valuable time and effort trying to drum up reasons why it’s perfectly okay to say it, I’m going to say that you (if this is you) are full of exhaust. Knock it off. Here’s what the dictionary says about “the word.”
It further explains:
That should be enough to put Christians off using the word altogether. It’s a crude term for God’s good gift of sex. It takes something holy and good and makes it ugly. It takes something to be thought of highly and with great reverence, and therefore with prudence and discretion, and makes it low…profane.
But of course, this is not enough for today’s liberated Christian. They would rather play word and mind games with the rest of us. I’m not playing along. When you try to defend the use of it, you remind me of that big blond dude who plays Jack Reacher in the film series. He likes to make a big deal about being Christian and a family man, but somehow thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to be filmed butt naked, pretending to have sex with a similarly attired female. It don’t compute. Just stop it.
And you can come at me in the comments all you want, but I’m not even going to argue with you because I’m right and you’re wrong. And deep down, you know it.
Now, that aside, please enjoy some profiles of profanity lovers whose identities I’ve taken pains to hide. Unlike most of these people, I’m actually a nice person. And though I dare say most of my readers aren’t the kind of people who would hunt these individuals down just to say mean things to them on my behalf…you just can’t be too careful these days.
Our first example is…
The Man of Letters (He’s Very Smart. He Said So.)
He responded to me with begrudging something along the lines of, “Well, that’s your prerogative, I guess.” But then another reader chimed in with some good sense and then the man of letter’s true character came out!
I blocked out his profanity above, but this professing Christian took our Savior’s name in vain AND paired it with “the word.” What a popinjay.
Next on the roster, we have…
The Amateur Psychoanalyst
I have two examples. The first who does not mean well and is actually the narcissist she’s always screeching about, and the second who really does mean well.
Once again, I must just point out several dictionaries’ descriptions of this words’ use: “to shock, to offend, to express impatience, etc…” I don’t think “the anger of strangers” a big stretch here.
The second lady in this category, was a real sweetheart, though. She said
I think the whole theory of “repressed memory trauma” is a load of hogwash. Nevertheless, this gal is a sincere person who means well and that’s obvious in the genuine care she expressed towards me. The other gal, was not. You could practically feel the judgmental malignancy dripping from her words.
Next, we have….
The Run-on Sentencer
No punctuation to be seen, anywhere!
Next…
The Circular Reasoner
But, dear Mark, we aren’t talking about “direct plain language.” We’re talking about obscenity. What a goober.
Next, we have one of my personal favorites…
The Etymologist
Since this is becoming a large file with all these photos, I’ll just type this example.
One Stephen opined,
“Yet you think ‘Uglification’ is English. You’re fine to ditching a centuries old word of dramatic force and multiple meanings. But you stick with something which is at best awkward and in the context, laughable.”
Well, the poet Shelley was using “uglification” back in the early 1800s.
What a doofus.
Next up…
The Mean Girls
(I have taken care to preserve the original punctuation, grammar, and capitalization of the original authors while transcribing their remarks. Just so you know.)
Michelle — “Lady, is this really what you find problematic in our current state of affairs? My god - get out more. Get active in addressing REAL problems…”
Eddie — “Well aren’t you a fancy christian nationalist. Hurt by words…you people are a joke.”
Melissa — I am tired of “holier than thou” people who think that people who use the F bomb are somehow “assaulting” you. Grow up.
Anonymous — “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but nobody cares.”
That’s right. Only over 3,000 people care. Nobody, really. I’m such a loser.
Next we have the…
“That’s Right! The World is Terrible and it’s all the Jews Fault!”
I regret to inform you that I received three of these comments. I deleted most of them because they turned my stomach. One long five-paragraph essay by a flaming racist I found particularly loathsome, as he claimed the Jews and n*gg**s were behind the degradation of language as a way of deliberately bringing down the culture to the lowest level. Anyway, one of them slipped through which I discovered after the fact, and I only share it here as proof that the Jew hatred I see rising all over the place right now is not a figment of my over-fevered imagination.
What a doodihead.
I’m tellin’ ya. Ignore it at your peril.
Last, but dearest to my heart are…
The Crusty Old Gents
People can be so surprising. The last place I expected to get a pat on the back was from ex military guys. I mean, “military” and “profanity” are kind of synonymous. But these older military guys were the sweetest people on that comment thread. Here are just two examples:
You can tell an awful lot about people by the way they communicate. Observing the different characters I’ve encountered this last month has been informative, instructive, and vastly entertaining. I have been surprised by which quarters the most kindness came from, and shocked by which quarters the most vitriol came from. For instance, one of the comments I deleted was this profanity-laced screed dripping sarcasm and judgement. I went to her profile and found “Christian” proudly displayed under her name. Wowza. Come on, don’t you be treating Jesus that way.
What else have I gained from this experience? Well, about 100 of you! I gained one hundred new subscribers from a note I did not expect anyone to take notice of at all. What a delightful surprise! I’m so glad you like reading my stuff, and I’m grateful for you.
That’s all for now. Until next time, folks…
P.S. If you enjoy reading my stuff, please consider becoming a paid subscriber to support my work. Love you all! Stay warm in this polar vortex!
That word has become ubiquitous in everyday culture. Umm, like, almost a filler, you know.
As such, there is little left of shock value to be had in using it. It dirties up the landscape of communication. Those are trends one sees in other ways as well. When did it become "normal" that train cars, billboards or buildings should be covered with spray painted graffiti? Fashion? When did having pants with holes ripped throughout become appealing? Not to mention extreme trends with makeup or tattoos. I think there are similarities. But such statements wear thin once seen and heard everywhere. Shock value is gone, and one is left with a trashed up landscape, trashed up body, trashed up clothes, and a trashed up vocabulary. Self respect, respect for others, and respect for a higher spiritual realm give way to debasement for the sake of debasement.
It is refreshing to hear a reminder call for aiming higher, when our culture seems to have lost that inclination.
Thank hollywood for accelerating the use of the f word. When they realized that they could use it liberally, as liberals are inclined to do, they wrote it into every sentence in every conversation, using it just because they could. Like adolescent little boys with a pack of cigarettes, smoking and coughing and snickering and talking dirty and spitting to impress themselves and think they sound tough and cool. Believe me, I‘ve been there and done that. Time to grow up people. Pity the nincompoop who still thinks it’s cool.